Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
