There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
