whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
