If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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