If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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