I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
