This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize