the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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