I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
