Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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