i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
