My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
