Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
