Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
