covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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