Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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