So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
