her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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