I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
