The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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