My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize