there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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