this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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