The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
