I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
