Plan B is the new Plan A
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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