girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize