He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
