Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
