Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
