Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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