I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
