Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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