She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
