I'm really into asian looking animals
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
