She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
