dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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