So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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