you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
