Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
