Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
