But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
