Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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