How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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