my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
