From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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