if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
