brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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