I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
