I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
