he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
