when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
