My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are we still banned from the library?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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