so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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