I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
