Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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