I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
there is glitter all over my balls
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