yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize