Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize