yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You took a bar mat shot.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
