Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
