totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
