guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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