im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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