we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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