You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
