; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
