omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
