I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
