I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
