its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
