sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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